Review - Glazed and Confused.

After receiving two separate, unsolicited pings about the same article in CNN's Money section, I felt it was my duty to report to my faithful readers what Krispy Kreme had in their minds when they created the Frozen Blends.

At 440 calories, and 70g of sugar for 12oz, I promise you, dear reader, I wasn't taking last night's events lightly. Rolling up to my church of confection I had only heard the rumors -- "It tastes just like a doughnut" -- but would they be true?

Being the purist that I am, I ordered the "Original Kreme" - straight up (You can get a shot of coffee in there). The clerk walks a blender jar over to a console with a bunch of holes in it, pulls off one of the caps, and starts shoveling in what looks like angel food cake mix. She moves over to the blending contraption, places the jar down and hits "Go." A merry-go-round of ice circles the machine as it pours out shaved ice into the already blending blender. It would be soon.

$2.67 has changed hands, and it is mine. I retreat to the safety of the pre-stickied tables and gaze into the beverages depths. My first sip.....

If ever there was a product befitting the colloquialism 'suck sh*t through a tube,' I have found it. Like Cortez, I have found something unique and magical. The texture is like an Icee, crunchy and poised to brain freeze. The taste - well, it's a mix between Betty Crocker Frosting and Milk Of Magnesia, and to tell you the truth, I would have been better off, biologically and calorically, if it was.

I only made it this far into the beverage before I felt the need to cut it, like a fine narcotic, with a 220 calorie double chocolate brownie doughnut and a glass of water.

Bottom line: I'm still recovering. It's gonna be a long road, but I'm committed. [Via George and Alex F. with special thanks to Jeremy and Amber]

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