Another Type Of Crime.

I just got an email from my high school reunion committee giving up the goods on the upcoming soiree. In the details was the cost. Not the opportunity cost, because that's obvious. No, the monetary cost.

Let's backtrack to 1994 and my prom, which was at the Waldorf-Astoria. At the time the prom committee charged us $75 per person -- A hefty sum for someone with no real source of income. I, in return, borrowed a tux, safety pinned my dad's cummerbund to fit and drove my parents car to the prom. And frankly, that's how it should be. No limo's, no canes or other obvious affectations (thought it was lovely cane weather). I remember, as at any good prom, there was controversy over the senior song. It was supposed to be "Madonna's" "This used to be my playground," the über downer, but was switched at the last minute, naturally, to "Sweet Home Alabama." While the three country boys in our class hooted and hollered, I was planning my escape. For the $150 bucks, plus parking, plus other frills I spent on what was otherwise a gloriously unmemorable evening, I would have been better off driving into the city and waving it around waiting to get mugged. At least that would have felt like closure.

Now at our last reunion, which was half the current reunion's price, I walked in, met three or four people, was assaulted by some dude eager to introduce me* (*read anyone) to his wife, and walked out. I left with the same people I see regularly. We went to a café and had a great time. I was out $70-80 bucks, but the company was exquisite.

Thank G@d that Robin is having a pre-soiree soiree. Again giving me the opportunity to pre-salvage what I'm sure will be an evening filled with controversy.

Again, at the last one, when I went to use the loo, there were three former classmates in there talking about their d!cks. I can't help but think how they were just where I left them.

I'm not sure if there is anything redeemable in going to the reunion. I don't feel an overwhelming voyeuristic need to peer into my former classmates lives to see if they did better or worse than me. Furthermore, I can probably save everyone the lipservice of the "oh yeah, I keep in better touch," or the "yeah, let's hang out" empty promise.

But like the third episode the StarWars, I'm probably going to this too. It just seems like a lot to pay if it becomes bail-worthy.

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