Wax Elastic: Doctors and The One Night Stand.

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August 03, 2005

Doctors and The One Night Stand.

Sorry....Soooorry. It's been a while, but for good reason, which I choose not to ~~make up~~ divulge at this time.

I'm in the process of picking out a doctor. It's hard. I equate it to either having a one night stand, or a long lasting relationship, only brought to an end due to distance, death, or change of insurance. So as you can see, it's just like dating.

I've spent some time asking around, speaking to other doctor friends of mine, and researching and I have come up with following conclusion:

You just gotta risk it. The names in the book don't do any good. Asking around? Balls. It's about as helpful as eBay feedback.

I haven't seen a doctor in several years. Something I regret, because I can't say that I've been taking care of the ol' chassis. Years of cola, cheesesteaks, Gray's Papaya, Chinese fast food and insomnia, while not clinically proven to be a dangerous combination, have certainly had an effect on this King Tubby.

I figure that a trip to the family physician will give me an idea of two important factors. First, how much damage have I done. I assume that the bastion of high fat - high sodium - low nutrient - low quality fuel I've been putting into my body will have some adverse effect, I just want to see just how bad.

Second? What can I do to fix it. Of course (s)he'll say "Eat Better", "Excercise", "Think more about what you do, both culinarily and physically, but don't forget environmentally." Fair enough. But what else can I do? How else can I cut this snake of glut off at the head? Spiritually? Metaphysically? Existentially?

That's why I have carefully chosen my doctor. I will certainly let you know how it goes. His name is Shaman Qu'jilou and his offices* are on 95th and Park.

*And by "offices" I mean the cardboard box where he hangs shrunken heads to ward off the evil spirits and medical malpractice attorneys.

Posted by davidissimo :: Permalink :: Comments [3] ::

Kudos to you for taking initiative on your health. Can't you use your in-house doctor though? (^_^)

Obviously a doctor is going to be able to pinpoint what areas you need to work on, but like you mentioned, there are some things you already know you can work on. (unrequested advice to follow.)

Try taking some time to seriously evaluate what you're willing to change about your lifestyle to be healthier. Also, it might help to complete small victories, like cutting out soda, rather than a wholesale retrofit. It may take a little longer, but you'll be more likely to stick with it.

Take luck.

Posted by: Stephen McKenna at August 3, 2005 11:07 AM

I’ve gotta get a new doctor. I switch every six months -- not because my prostate likes meeting new people, but because I keep moving and because insurance companies stink.

They're always changing their list of "preferred providers," that list of random names and low bidders who I’m supposed to trust to be my doctor du jour.

Especially frustrating is all the new patient rigmarole that always starts with what they like to call "just a few forms."

The initial physical is equally tedious. I don’t understand why they do half the stuff they do, like measure. It’s not as if they have to pack me for shipping. And certainly, if I had something in my ear, I would have mentioned it on the forms.

First appointments are just plain awkward by nature, like a cross between a blind date and a Chippendales audition.

But the toughest part of picking a doctor is examining them. I mean, my last doctor seemed really smart, until he asked me if my "arms and legs both work."